being a father

I have been thinking a lot lately about ...

being a good father.
I guess it is dawning on me that we have a girl who now has 14 years and a son who has 9 years. The Spanish people use the word "have" regarding thier ages. Yo tengo años.

I was explaining to one of my Spanish friends who is also a father of a young teenager the other day that we do not have our kids living with us much past 18. Once they turn 18 they go to college, then get a job and their apartment and so on.. Here they often live with their parents until the get married which is not that bad but they often do not get married until they are 30. wow. In that case my friend has several more years to be concerned but we do not. We have less than 4 years before she enters into college. Of course we would still be able to speak into her life but not like she is while she is at home.

This is exactly what I have been thinking. Am I speaking into my kids the things that will prepare them to be a well functioning adult some day. Will they be responsible? Will they be hard workers? Will they be trsut worthy ? Will they keep a clean house? Will they make their bed? Will they practice piano without us here to tell them ? or even brush their teeth without being told? All of these things matter to me?

What will our kids be like when they grow up? I have been thinking about these things lately and I hope I am pouring into my kids like I do my work. I read a book by Andy Stanley where he says " Love your family and do your work not love your work and do your family. I really disliked the way that hit me. I way too often pour myself into my work and it is a very noble job for the world and then I give my wife and kids the leftovers. I do not know about you but do you really eat the leftovers in the fridge? More often than not I do not because why? Because they are just that: leftovers. They are the scraps, Sure it may not be bad but it is not the fresh off the stove stuff that you ate the day before.

I want to give my wife and kids much more than I normally give them. For me I constantly have to draw boundaries and say no and schedule it in my outlook before someone takes it. But I also must more into my life the life of Christ and experience his fullness. As He fills me up then I have more good things to give and out of my overflow come my actions and words and this is what I can give my kids.

They will not be Christ followers just because we go to church most Sundays. We want them to see Jesus in us 24/7. We want them to see us live our lives in an authentic way in front of them. This is what we want them to catch. One of my friends Rodd Rhode says that Christianity is not taught but caught. If that is the case then it is very important how I live my life in front of my kids.

larry de madrid